How to Masturbate (women)
Female masturbation is like Big Foot, you know he's out there but no one can ever manage to find him. The majority of women masturbate yet very very few will own up to it. Learning to please yourself sexually is one of the most satisfying things that a person can figure out. It gives them something to do when they are bored, a release for any pent up sexual frustration and finally it's just a good work-out for your fingers. Because women are less open about their sexuality, it can be difficult for girls to find information on how to get off. That is why we're here, so sit on back, let one of your hands go south and read on. If you are still young, odds are that sex and sex with yourself are still fairly taboo topics with you and your friends. Because of this you won't be able to get an honest portrait about who does what. However, one thing that you should always remember is that a lot of people do masturbate; there is nothing wrong with you and you are not weird.
Methods
While it's generally accepted that a male will achieve orgasm through masturbation easier than a female can, females have the opportunity to masturbate in a wider variety of techniques and can have a lot of fun experimenting. Usually, when one thinks of female masturbation, one thinks of vaginal (inner) stimulation because it is so directly related to sex. However, this is not the only method. Female masturbation can easily incorporate several methods of stimulation including, but not limited to, vaginal stimulation, clitoral stimulation and frottage (humping).
Vaginal Stimulation
Vaginal masturbation occurs when the inside or the opening of the vagina is stimulated, generally by the insertion of something (fingers, a sex toy). Vaginal stimulation can focus on the opening and walls of the vagina or can be more particular to the G-spot which is located in the vagina.
Types of Stimulation
Fingers
One of the easiest ways to stimulate the vagina is with the fingers. Running a finger or more around the opening of the vagina and/or labia minor (vaginal lips) can cause pleasurable sensations and help work up to the actual insertion of fingers into the vagina.
When ready, insert first one finger into the vagina. Attempting to insert too many fingers too soon can cause discomfort, pain and even bodily damage. If insertion is difficult, apply a small amount of lubrication to your fingers and vagina and try again.
Once your finger is comfortable inserted, become acquainted with the vagina. Feel around, rubs the inner walls, push your finger back as far as possible and apply different sensations. Pay attention to which feels good and which sensations you should stay away from in the future.
If you're happy with just one finger, go ahead and continue the sensations which feel best to you. If you would like to insert more fingers, go ahead but do so with caution. Generally, it's best to insert another finger at a time and let your body and vagina become accustomed to that sensation before inserting anymore.
Sex Toys
A variety of sex toys exist for the purpose of vaginal stimulation. It's often easier to achieve vaginal stimulation with a sex toy because you don't have to reach as far as you would with just fingers and they add additional length, thus further penetration.
Because sex toys are generally much larger in girth and length than one, or even several fingers, it's advised to work up to sex toy insertion by first inserting fingers like in the method above. When you are ready to insert a toy, go ahead. If you find insertion difficult, apply a small amount of lubrication to your vagina and the toy and try again.
Depending upon the type of sex toy you own, your exact method of masturbation will vary. If it's a dildo you may thrust it in and out of your vagina. You may choose to thrust a vibrating toy, as well, or simply hold it inside of you. With either a dildo or vibrator, you may grind it against your vaginal walls or cervix (the "end" of the vagina) or hump the toy as you hold it in you.
Household Items
Many people will choose household items for vaginal stimulation and while they may provide pleasurable sensations, one needs to be cautious when choosing an item for vaginal penetration for sanitary and health reasons. Please keep these things in mind when choosing a household item:
- It's safest to use a condom with any item inserted into the vagina.
- Don't choose something of great value which may be diminished by using it for masturbation.
- Don't use an item which will come in contact with food.
- Use of food objects, while common in urban legends, is not advised.
- If you must use a food object, do not replace it. Dispose of it immediately afterward.
- Make sure all items are thoroughly cleaned before and after used.
- It's impolite to use someone else's possessions or items which others will use without their permission.
- Choose an item that will not become stuck inside.
- Empty bottles can create suction and easily become stuck in the vagina.
- Choose an item which will not break off easily.
- Candles, although popular, can break easily.
- Choose materials which will not cause health hazards.
- Items made of glass or metal, or with sharp edges can be hazardous to your health.
Clitoral Stimulation
Clitoral stimulation is stimulation of the clitoris and the surrounding area, usually with one or more fingers by stroking, rubbing or pinching the clitoris. In reality, clitoral stimulation is probably more common than vaginal stimulation when it comes to female masturbation because it's easier to access and often easier to achieve orgasm through this method.
Find The Clitoris
The clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman's body sexually. It is an organ whose sole function is sexual pleasure and it is full of nerves which make it extremely sensitive. It is located towards the top of the vaginal area as can be seen in the picture on the right. Generally, what you see is not the clitoris itself but the clitoral hood which covers the clitoris. Although the existence of the clitoris is more well known, many females still do not know where theirs is located. Using a mirror to view this area can help you better to locate the clitoris.
Because the clitoris contains many nerves, stimulation can be uncomfortable or even painful, rather than pleasurable. It can be a center of great pleasure but that does not mean that one should apply heavy sensations immediately. If you find that the sensations you are experiencing are unpleasant, try to ease up on the pressure you are applying or applying pressure around the clitoris rather than directly on it. You can also stimulate your clitoris indirectly by rubbing it through panties or even your labia major (lips).
Types of Stimulation
Fingers
Using fingers for clitoral stimulation is popular and common. Unlike vaginal stimulation, you do not need to stretch your arm or fingers quite as far and, because of this, you may find yourself able to participate in a wider range of motions.
Try rubbing your clitoris with one finger. If the area feels dry, apply a small amount of lubrication or dip your finger into your vagina to use your natural lubrication and try again. Experimenting with the direction of rubbing; up and down, side to side, diagonal, zig zag, and circular motions are all popular. Experiment with two or more fingers.
Rubbing is not the only sensation which can be applied to your clitoris. Try tapping with one or more fingers. Experiment by tapping and rubbing simultaneously (with one of both hands) or in succession. Pinching can also cause pleasurable sensations but be sure to start gently so you do not apply to much pleasure. The clitoris is much like a miniature penis, so you can also experiment by stroking it with a finger one either side of your clitoris as you stroke up and down.
Remember, each female is different and the sensations you find pleasurable may vary greatly from the sensations other females like.
Sex Toys
You can also stimulate your clitoris with sex toys. Even sex toys made for vaginal penetration can be used for clitoral stimulation by simply holding it against your clitoris. However, there are many sex toys made for clitoral stimulation, almost all of which vibrate. Bullets (eggs) are a sex toy made especially for clitoral stimulation by holding it against your clitoris, and can even be used during sex.
Rabbits vibrators are sex toys which are made for penetration but also have extensions which stimulate your clitoris. Generally, there is an option to turn off the vibration of the shaft which penetrates so a rabbit vibrator could be used solely for clitoral stimulation.
When using a sex toy which vibrates, start off at a lower speed/power before gradually moving up to higher power. The clitoris can easily be over-stimulated which can be uncomfortable and painful.
If your sex toy has different functions, be sure to experiment with them all to find the ones which best pleasure you.
Frottage
Frottage is also known as humping and is exactly what it sounds like - a female humps an object. This can be done fully clothed, in just panties or naked and a variety of objects can be humped. Humping can stimulate the clitoris, either directly or indirectly, the general vulva area or the pelvic bone - all of which can cause pelasurable sensations.
Objects you may consider humping are a blanket, pillow, stuffed animal, furniture arm, your hand, or another person's body part. (Although that may not be masturbation anymore.) You may hump as lightly or heavily as feels good for you.
When choosing an object to hump, keep a few things in mind:
- Don't choose something of great value which may be damaged/stained by using it for masturbation.
- Don't use an item which will come in contact with food.
- Use of food objects, while common in urban legends, is not advised.
- If you must use a food object, do not replace it to be eaten. Dispose of it immediately afterward.
- Make sure all items are thoroughly cleaned before and after used.
- It's impolite to use someone else's possessions, or items which others will use, without their permission.
- Choose an item which will not break easily.
- Choose materials which will not cause health hazards.
- Items made of glass or metal, or with sharp edges can be hazardous to your health.
- Choose an item which will be stain and smell resistant, or thoroughly clean afterwards, or freely disposable.
Masturbation and Orgasm
While male masturbation generally occurs as a way to achieve orgasm, female masturbation often does not. Perhaps because the female orgasm can be difficult to achieve, female masturbation generally focuses on the feelings and sensations during masturbation rather than the destination or end product. However, that is not to say that many females do not enjoy orgasms achieved from masturbation. Many females simply accept that an orgasm isn't certain.
It's important to note that, through masturbation and sexual activity, a female can experience more than one kind of orgasm. Generally, an orgasm achieved through vaginal (or inner) stimulation is considered a G-spot orgasm whereas an orgasm experienced through clitoral (or outer stimulation) is considered a clitoral orgasm. These types of orgasms generally feel different, and one is often more powerful than the other though sensations vary between females.
If you are familiar with your orgasm, you will probably become aware when an orgasm is nearing. You can choose to continue stimulation the same as you have been or to increase the speed and/or pressure of the stimulation you are apply.
If you have not had an orgasm before, do not expect to orgasm immediately if you are new to masturbation. It can take years to learn to orgasm easily and some females will never orgasm. Also, if you are familiar with orgasming through vaginal/G-spot stimulation, it may be difficult for you to learn to orgasm via clitoral stimulation.
Some indications that you are having or are close to an orgasm include:
- An explosion of pain - mentally and/or physically
- A sudden burst of physical pleasure
- Vaginal contractions
- Shaking limbs, especially legs
- Afterwards you will feel relaxed, tired and relieved
- Your clitoris will likely get very sensitive right afterwards and you will have to stop stimulating it
However, some of these signs are only signs of pleasure or arousal.
What to Think About
During masturbation, you may think about specific things or your mind may wander. You may require your mind to think about sexual things in order to experience pleasure or your thoughts may be more sensual and loving. You may even think about nothing at all. What people think about varies greatly from person to person and even between the genders.
The Sensations
Focusing on the physical sensations and your body's reaction to them can often help increase your arousal and pleasure as well as help you become more in tune with your body.
Fantasizing
Thinking about sexual scenes which have or have not occurred can increase your arousal and pleasure. Remember that nothing is "wrong" when it comes to fantasies. You can think about whatever scenes, people, acts and situations you choose. Also, just because you like to think about something and are turned on by it, doesn't mean you would necessarily do it. Thinking about another lover can help you masturbate but does not mean you are unfaithful. Similarly, many females masturbate to images and thoughts of other females but this does not make them lesbian.
Loving Thoughts
Thinking about your partner in a loving or sensual situation, rather than a strictly sexual one, can often be more arousing for many females. The sexual desires and arousal of females is often dependent upon things which occur outside the bedroom so mental images of being held or caressed can do a lot for your sexual drive.
Let Your Mind Wander
Don't think about masturbation or sex. Just let your mind go where it will. For some females, thinking about masturbating and reaching orgasm can actually be detrimental to pleasure so letting your mind wander can be helpful.
Nothing
Who needs to think about anything during masturbation?
Improve Your Masturbation Experience
Now that you've got the basics of masturbation down, it's time to learn how to improve on this experience. Generally, masturbation only becomes better after the first time and if you're not afraid to try some new things, Here are some ideas which can help you experience more pleasure and possibly a better orgasm.
- Practice, Practice, Practice!
- Watching pornography/viewing pornographic images
- Masturbating for someone else
- Taking pictures as you masturbate
- Including sex toys
- Lighting candles or incense
- Dimming the lights
- Using a coloured light or draping coloured fabric over a regular light
- Playing music in the background
- Moaning by yourself
- Moaning for someone on the other end of a telephone
Include the Rest of Your Body
While masturbation focuses mainly on the pubic and pelvic region, masturbation can be immensely better if you include the rest of your body; however, many females often forget about the rest of their body. Here are some ideas:
- Grope your breasts
- Play with your nipples
- Lightly caress your body
- Scratch or pinch your skin
- Lightly tickle your skin
